Today is National Coming Out Day. It is the day when all LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people are urged to come forward and live truthfully and openly. It is a time to show your support and promote a safe world for people of different sexual orientations.
Most of the people in my life are open minded. There is one here and there who is questionable. To those there is no mention of anything other than the straight and narrow. I am proud to surround myself with the people I do. They are loving and accepting.
Remember my blog a few days ago regarding polyamory, etc.? A relationship that includes more than two people in a loving way.
I was dared to do this in my blog today so here it goes…most of you already know this, but for those of you who do not I am bisexual.
Okay, so now that we’ve gotten that over with. The reason I hold back from telling people is that I get a weird reaction. Men don’t seem to do anything but drool at the thought of a girl on girl fantasy. Women look at me and wonder what we have said to each other over the past years, months, etc. Did they give me any signs they shouldn’t have? When I said I love you did I mean that kind of love? Am I attracted to them? Relax. I love my friends because I love them, not because I am “in love” with them. I do not look at all women as sexual objects nor do I look at all men that way. All of the men I know do not worry whether I am attracted to them or not so my female friends don’t need to either.
I first realized I had different preferences around the age of 13. There were hints of it before then but that was when it all blossomed. I also knew I was attracted to males too. I felt myself to be lucky…I liked everyone!!
I have had a couple of girlfriends along the way in my life, nothing serious. Except one. Her name is Samantha. She hates when I call her that so I have come to love the name Sam. We have had an on/off relationship for about 12 years. The off times are difficult and painful. The on times are natural and loving. The reason our relationship goes through spells like that are because we live very far from each other. The time we have spent together face to face is treasured and cherished. The rest of our relationship is spent on the phone, on the internet and with video calls. We write letters to each other in snail mail. We send each other little gifts. She keeps silent in the background so our lives are not disrupted. I do the same for her.
Yes, my husband knows. Yes, he is perfectly fine with it. No, he has not asked to take pictures, watch or join in. Although he has a fantasy here and there, which is totally natural, he respects my bisexuality. He supports my relationship with Sam because he knows that without that part of my life I am not complete. He knows that I can love more than one person and take nothing away from either of them. Welcome to polyamory. Sam is patient and respectful of my marriage to Jason. It is difficult because she is not married nor does she have another relationship other than ours. She feels the loneliness more often though we both ache for each other and miss each other tremendously.
Most of the people in my life are open minded. There is one here and there who is questionable. To those there is no mention of anything other than the straight and narrow. I am proud to surround myself with the people I do. They are loving and accepting.
Remember my blog a few days ago regarding polyamory, etc.? A relationship that includes more than two people in a loving way.
I was dared to do this in my blog today so here it goes…most of you already know this, but for those of you who do not
Okay, so now that we’ve gotten that over with. The reason I hold back from telling people is that I get a weird reaction. Men don’t seem to do anything but drool at the thought of a girl on girl fantasy. Women look at me and wonder what we have said to each other over the past years, months, etc. Did they give me any signs they shouldn’t have? When I said I love you did I mean that kind of love? Am I attracted to them? Relax. I love my friends because I love them, not because I am “in love” with them. I do not look at all women as sexual objects nor do I look at all men that way. All of the men I know do not worry whether I am attracted to them or not so my female friends don’t need to either.
I first realized I had different preferences around the age of 13. There were hints of it before then but that was when it all blossomed. I also knew I was attracted to males too. I felt myself to be lucky…I liked everyone!!
I have had a couple of girlfriends along the way in my life, nothing serious. Except one. Her name is Samantha. She hates when I call her that so I have come to love the name Sam. We have had an on/off relationship for about 12 years. The off times are difficult and painful. The on times are natural and loving. The reason our relationship goes through spells like that are because we live very far from each other. The time we have spent together face to face is treasured and cherished. The rest of our relationship is spent on the phone, on the internet and with video calls. We write letters to each other in snail mail. We send each other little gifts. She keeps silent in the background so our lives are not disrupted. I do the same for her.
Yes, my husband knows. Yes, he is perfectly fine with it. No, he has not asked to take pictures, watch or join in. Although he has a fantasy here and there, which is totally natural, he respects my bisexuality. He supports my relationship with Sam because he knows that without that part of my life I am not complete. He knows that I can love more than one person and take nothing away from either of them. Welcome to polyamory. Sam is patient and respectful of my marriage to Jason. It is difficult because she is not married nor does she have another relationship other than ours. She feels the loneliness more often though we both ache for each other and miss each other tremendously.
Sam and I do have matching rings that we exchanged to symbolize our union. We have begun a new tradition of celebrating our anniversaries with tokens of love.
Her family does not know. Her friends do. Her family would not understand her having a relationship with a woman.
My mother knows, my sister knows. Most of my friends know…or at least they do now. My therapist knows. Although my mother does not like the fact and she does not understand, she does accept it. She asks about Sam and wants to know what she’s up to. My sweet sister is accepting and supportive. A few of my friends talk about it openly, a few don’t mention it at all. I wish I could be more open about it but I worry it will just make people uncomfortable.
Again, as I approach my 40th birthday, I wonder how important it is to make other people comfortable. And how important it is to be my authentic self.
I do hope this has not turned anyone away from me. However, if it has, I suppose it is best to know before you have to send me a birthday card.
Our song...
Oh, for fuck sake! You had me totally freaked out, Brenda! I thought you were going to tell me you had a tail or gave me Leprosy through a hug. I think that's awesome and I further think Jason is hot for accepting Sam in your life. I'd love to meet her. Is she coming to your birthday?
ReplyDeleteAnd, BTW, if you had a tail - I'd want to see it. I'm sending you an e-mail. You're going to laughing your fucking ass of when you read it. I love you. Oh, and not in that way!! Good Grief! Goof Ball! Shite!