But Who's Counting?

18 Days
16 Hours
40 Minutes
22 Seconds

A few weeks ago when things with Joshua took a major turn for the worse, I did something I really never thought I would. I contacted my ex-husband, Joshua’s biological father and asked him if he would like to see Joshua for a week during his holiday break. Ron was shocked, having really never thought I would suggest such a thing. He was thrilled!

I had Jason search plane, train, bus and automobile options to see which was the quickest and least expensive way to travel. Automobile came out ahead by a long shot. 11 hours one way for each of us. We will meet in the middle between the two families in Columbia, Missouri.

A bit later Ron called and told me that since they had travel plans to go to Florida to see his family, that the dates I suggested were not going to work. Then he said, with hesitation in his voice…”you wouldn’t consider letting me take him for the whole two week break, would you?”

Fuck yea!!! Take him!

Ron was, again, in shock. He stuttered and stammered not knowing exactly how to react to how easy I was making this for him.

I’m not worried about how it will be. Joshua is able to state his needs. He can certainly say when he’s not happy with something. Whatever. These two weeks won’t kill him. It’s time for him to spread his wings and have some new experiences. He was pissed when we first told him. But then that turned into happiness and threats of never coming back. Whenever we reprimand him for something he lets us know that he is moving to wherever. I told him to let me know where to mail his stuff if when he decides to stay there.

We will experience freedom for two weeks. We will not hang a light. We will not decorate a tree. There will not be a stocking hung by the chimney with care. We will not give each other gifts. This is our gift. Peace, quiet and calm. Jason has Christmas week off from work. I talked my uncle into paying for a ticket for my mom to visit them in California for ten days. Jason and I won’t know what to do with ourselves but I bet we can come up with a few things.

Bliss, sweet delightful bliss. I can almost taste it. Every moment of Joshua arguing, yelling, rolling his eyes, stomping, being snotty and then suddenly calling me “mommy” and telling me to watch him while he does some stupid idiotic childish trick with his juice box…every moment…my mind returns to the clock that is on my desktop counting down. The beautiful numbers that blink as they get lower. They are the numbers to my salvation.

Let’s hope that too many more brain cells don’t melt before we get to the final date.

18 Days
16 Hours
27 Minutes
26 Seconds

But who’s counting?