Why do you do it?

Why I do what I do…

In all the stress of life, people ask me why I add more to my plate than I already have. There is such a thing as elected stress.

My father was a community leader. He gave to people when they needed it. He was a doctor who upheld the Hippocratic Oath. His first office was on Miami Beach. He made house calls to the elderly in the middle of the night. In later years he ran a clinic in an extremely under privileged area. Some of his patients couldn’t pay at all. That never stopped him from treating them. He saved lives of children. He gave tender talks to those who were dying. He volunteered his time performing magic shows to veterans. He counseled the governor on state medical laws. He was the campaign manager for the city commissioner. He helped to visualize and build a medical school. We lived in a sort of rural area and ours was the house neighbors would come to if they had a medical issue and didn’t know what to do. He put the White Coat Ceremony into place at the medical school to instill, in the students, the importance of wearing a doctor’s coat. He wrote the alma mater for the medical school. My parents opened our home every holiday (Thanksgiving, Passover, etc.) for any students who could not get home to family. We also, of course, had our own family and friends in attendance. One year we had so many people at Thanksgiving that we had tables flowing throughout the house and onto the patio. I was the drink server and had a blast. I think I had a crush on every male student that walked through the door. I was very young and hot blooded. Not much different than today. They would allow students to stay in our spare bedroom until they could find housing near the school. My father volunteered and put together health fairs. He served as a director on numerous boards.

That was the part of my dad that I looked up to and admired. I learned from his example. People are important and we are all one. If I hadn’t been so shy all of my life I probably would have done more. I did what I could muster the courage to do and it was always at his side. Now I am an adult and I have slowly come out of my shell. Or at least faked it till it works.

My passion is with mental health and also with underprivileged people. If I see a person on the side of the road who is hungry, I give him food. If I know a family cannot afford Christmas gifts for their kids, I give them toys. If I know someone is in a sad place, I will lend them my ear. If I see kids are suffering with mental illness or trauma, I create an avenue to help them. If there is a will, there is a way.

I have the awesome opportunity to serve the clients at our community mental health center. I am on four boards there. I am extremely involved as a volunteer and advocate. I get to see some of the same people at various events and catch up on how they are doing. I can help the kids have a good holiday with crafts and gifts and a visit with Santa. I get to help get toys and stockings for the Santa Shop. (By the way, if you would like to donate money or stockings or gifts let me know! Deadline is the first week of December so we have enough time to get it all inventoried) I get to laugh and cry about everyone we see.

Last Wednesday was our consumer Thanksgiving luncheon. Many of the employees cook turkeys and bring them in. We had one employee bring in more cans of cranberry sauce than I wanted. I had to slice them and get them on a platter while Libbi opened each can. I did really well until the last freaking can at which point I slopped a spot of cranberry on my light tan colored shirt. (sigh) We collect pie donations for dessert. We have some organizations that give money for us to buy the rest of the things we need. The optimist club always gives nice donations for things like this. I was on turkey duty this year. I have been on butter, veggies (which I love because I try to make every person take something green on their plate even if they get frustrated with me), lemonade, helper of those who cannot carry their plates, set up, clean up and greeter. I am thinking since I was Head Turkey Server that I have reached a higher status among the crew. I mean, Tom is the main attraction, right?

We served over 200 clients that day. We transported people from our residences and we had consumers walk in on their own. It was wonderful. The most people yet! I saw clients whom I haven’t seen since last Christmas. It was great to see them doing well. For a lot of our clients this is the only Thanksgiving celebration they will have. I have learned which people I can joke with, which ones need the most help, which ones don’t talk at all and which ones hate turkey. I told one guy, whom I have chatted with many times before, that I was going to throw the turkey at him because I couldn’t seem to grab a piece with my flimsy plastic tongs. He told me a story about his sister throwing the turkey one holiday because she got angry with the family. We joked about that the rest of the day. I told him that I was going to take that as a suggestion if anyone at my house gets out of hand this Thanksgiving. There was one lady who commented that she hadn’t had a meal this good in two years. Is that saying our food was that good or that she hadn’t eaten well in that long? I’m guessing the latter. These volunteer opportunities are also a fantastic way for me to mingle with our therapists and employees. I’m not supposed to get too familiar with them and yet somehow I manage to break that rule the most. Oh, well. I advocate for them too, much to the CEO’s dismay. I had my “favorite” client come through this year. She is a trip. She was walking through the line the wrong way and claimed that she absolutely had to have the turkey wings or back. We had already torn the turkey apart earlier so it was easier to serve. (my flimsy tongs did not agree with that) Hence, there was no defined wing or back. Well, she insisted on it. I did what I could to dig around for something that would satisfy her. Finally I just said, “Sweetie, eat what’s on your plate and in the meantime I will find a wing for you. When you’re done, come back through and I’ll give it to you.” Now, having dealt with her before, I knew she would not return. She would get sidetracked with her food and things around her and forget my “promise”. Thankfully my prediction was correct. She is a laugh riot at the Christmas party when it comes time for her to pick a present from our gift table. Last year she kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me after she questioned why I hated her for not letting her have five presents. She has the most beautiful skin…shea butter, pure shea butter is what she uses I can guarantee it.

A hand-picked group of our residents were able to go on a camping trip a few months ago. Five of our team members from the center accompanied them. On Thursday evening at our board meeting, this team of therapists presented a photo slide show of the trip. Between employees donating camping gear and REI donating some tents, they had plenty for everyone. I heard they all managed to get their tents set up in an hour, which beats a lot of records of perfectly well adjusted people I know. Some of the folks had never had s’mores. They were told that when the first star was seen in the sky that they would get to start the s’more making. One guy was so proud that he found a stick with two prongs and would not let a soul get near it. Another guy told one of the women that had not had s’mores before that “they will blow your mind”. They hiked, fished, swam and had a blast. They are already begging to go again. This was the first camping trip the center has ever attempted and it was a success. As I sat in my meeting and looked at those pictures, listened to the excitement and pride of the counselors and began to feel tears well up in my eyes, they told of a short moment when they were sitting around after the trip and talking about what they took away from it. One client said “for a day and a half I forgot I had a mental illness”.

That’s why I do what I do.