It will be difficult for some people to understand. Okay, a lot of people. Unless you’ve experienced it yourself you cannot imagine the connection.
Two people that read this blog will “get it”. Luann and Jason. So, bear with me everyone. If you two want to help me explain anything that may need to be explained, feel free to jump in.
If you have read my previous blogs, I wrote a story about how I met Jason. It was a fantasy story about far away lands and different names. But, as strange as it may sound, it is mostly true. We transported ourselves to another world and in that world my story is what happened. It was our reality. The emotions behind it all were true and real and deep.
The previous blog: http://www.bbagain.blogspot.com/2011/05/our-beginning.html
In the story I mention someone in particular. Here is the excerpt:
Various times of the day and night, as part of her spiritual service, she would stand there, guarding the doors of the Temple of Morpheus. She and her fair haired sister in piety were called Templytes. Gatekeepers to the tombs of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, Protectors of the great Book of Names. These beautiful women knelt at the tabernacle alter and offered themselves to Morpheus. They strolled through the Temple Courtyard to smell the sweet nectar of the morning glories and lounge under the hanging garden. Some hours they sat beneath the weeping willow trees and giggled at the wild birds that fluttered and played in the crystal waters of the birdbath. Their voices sounded like musical notes that strummed in the hearts of the dreamers. Their eyes were filled with rapture and enchantment. They were alluring yet angelic and both men and women desired them. The captivating sisters did nothing to attract attention. They simply worshipped life through the power of Morpheus.
Some passersby would stop and chat for a bit, some would just nod and continue walking. Everyone knew these enchanted women were promised to Morpheus and, as enticing as they were, were virgin brides wed to the Dreamweaver of Phantasus.
Two people that read this blog will “get it”. Luann and Jason. So, bear with me everyone. If you two want to help me explain anything that may need to be explained, feel free to jump in.
If you have read my previous blogs, I wrote a story about how I met Jason. It was a fantasy story about far away lands and different names. But, as strange as it may sound, it is mostly true. We transported ourselves to another world and in that world my story is what happened. It was our reality. The emotions behind it all were true and real and deep.
The previous blog: http://www.bbagain.blogspot.com/2011/05/our-beginning.html
In the story I mention someone in particular. Here is the excerpt:
Various times of the day and night, as part of her spiritual service, she would stand there, guarding the doors of the Temple of Morpheus. She and her fair haired sister in piety were called Templytes. Gatekeepers to the tombs of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, Protectors of the great Book of Names. These beautiful women knelt at the tabernacle alter and offered themselves to Morpheus. They strolled through the Temple Courtyard to smell the sweet nectar of the morning glories and lounge under the hanging garden. Some hours they sat beneath the weeping willow trees and giggled at the wild birds that fluttered and played in the crystal waters of the birdbath. Their voices sounded like musical notes that strummed in the hearts of the dreamers. Their eyes were filled with rapture and enchantment. They were alluring yet angelic and both men and women desired them. The captivating sisters did nothing to attract attention. They simply worshipped life through the power of Morpheus.
Some passersby would stop and chat for a bit, some would just nod and continue walking. Everyone knew these enchanted women were promised to Morpheus and, as enticing as they were, were virgin brides wed to the Dreamweaver of Phantasus.
My fair haired sister was Starchilde. She was known to me as Star. Her real name was Wendy Townsin. We met in our internet world. We spent hours and hours together. We also spent hours and hours on the phone with each other. She was the one standing there with me in our little world when Jason first set eyes on me. She was there when he said “hello” for the first time. She was the first one to tease me about him liking me. We giggled like teenagers. She supported me during the time when I was confused about my marriage to my ex-husband. I was there for her when she left her first husband. We both had a tiny crush on the same guy. I fell for Jason and she and the other guy fell in love. They got married a bit before Jason and I did. We were there together when it all started, our relationships, falling in love, having children. She was an imp in the true sense of the word. She loved to play jokes and pranks. She was a drama queen and center of attention. She loved to stir the pot. She was opinionated and stubborn. She was adorable and loving. She was hilarious and smart. She was ferociously protective of her kids and then her current husband. Her favorite color was green. She did everything in green.
She died on Thanksgiving morning. I found out today around 6am. Wendy and I had lost touch over the last year or two. We didn’t try hard to keep in touch for some reason. She lived in Washington and long distance relationships are always difficult. Well, I can make all of the excuses I want. The bottom line is, I have regrets. I would like to turn back the clock and do it over. I want to tell her that I still love her as a sister. I want to laugh with her one more time. I want to sit in silence with her again.
We would stand next to each other in our little internet world. We had a thing we’d do. She started it actually. When we first saw each other every day, when things got quiet and silence took over the late hours, when we wanted to acknowledge the other person was still there. Random times just to keep people guessing what the two crazy girls on either side of the temple were doing. We would say:
Wendy: I am the Gate Keeper
Me: I am the Key Master
She would start and I would finish. We would both have the same mannerisms as we did it. It was just our thing. It’s silly, it’s dorky and yet it’s huge to me.
I know this is difficult to grasp because of the whole little internet world thing. But, if you erase that part and imagine it as two people spending time together in a friendship and sisterhood, it is the same as any other relationship.
I will miss her. She is a reminder of so many events in my life. Her hand was in a few of them stirring that damn pot. I’m sad and torn up about her death. I’m in shock and float between crying and smiling. It sucks. It is a little kick in my shins to remind me that I need to show people I love them. No fear, no holding back. If I love someone then I will tell them without fear of rejection or non reciprocation.
Star is loved and missed.
I’m sure right now she is standing at the temple being the Gate Keeper. Someday I’ll bring the key.
She died on Thanksgiving morning. I found out today around 6am. Wendy and I had lost touch over the last year or two. We didn’t try hard to keep in touch for some reason. She lived in Washington and long distance relationships are always difficult. Well, I can make all of the excuses I want. The bottom line is, I have regrets. I would like to turn back the clock and do it over. I want to tell her that I still love her as a sister. I want to laugh with her one more time. I want to sit in silence with her again.
We would stand next to each other in our little internet world. We had a thing we’d do. She started it actually. When we first saw each other every day, when things got quiet and silence took over the late hours, when we wanted to acknowledge the other person was still there. Random times just to keep people guessing what the two crazy girls on either side of the temple were doing. We would say:
Wendy: I am the Gate Keeper
Me: I am the Key Master
She would start and I would finish. We would both have the same mannerisms as we did it. It was just our thing. It’s silly, it’s dorky and yet it’s huge to me.
I know this is difficult to grasp because of the whole little internet world thing. But, if you erase that part and imagine it as two people spending time together in a friendship and sisterhood, it is the same as any other relationship.
I will miss her. She is a reminder of so many events in my life. Her hand was in a few of them stirring that damn pot. I’m sad and torn up about her death. I’m in shock and float between crying and smiling. It sucks. It is a little kick in my shins to remind me that I need to show people I love them. No fear, no holding back. If I love someone then I will tell them without fear of rejection or non reciprocation.
Star is loved and missed.
I’m sure right now she is standing at the temple being the Gate Keeper. Someday I’ll bring the key.
I love you, Brenda. *hugs*
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